On my first day, I learned that my manager had not been informed I was Deaf by the hiring team or HR. Rather than looking for ways to support me, he treated my disability as an inconvenience and required that I sit apart from the rest of my team.

For the next several years I received virtually no support as I figured out how to do the job on my own. When I asked for help, my boss would say he’d be there in 20 minutes and never show up. This happened frequently.

Accommodations were available through an interpreter for meetings, but only with advance notice. My boss would routinely schedule meetings at the last minute, making it impossible to arrange one. This pattern continued across multiple managers over several years, despite repeated attempts on my part to get support from HR.

I recognized the discrimination right away. Some managers were worse than others, which forced me to escalate and seek support from HR often.

In one instance, a manager grew so frustrated with my disability that she insisted I stand in the corner of the room during meetings, believing it would make it easier for me to lip read everyone else. It wouldn’t have, and I refused. I reported the behavior and that manager was eventually removed.

Unfortunately, that outcome was the exception. The most common outcome was for HR to do nothing, but there were also times when speaking up would backfire. For example, a coworker once mocked me in the bathroom from behind. He assumed I didn’t know what he was saying, because I couldn’t hear him, but I read his lips and knew exactly what he said. I reported the incident, but instead of taking action, HR accused me of fabricating stories and wrote me up. He was later promoted.

Being written up was common for me though. I was regularly reprimanded for communication issues and behavioral concerns that had nothing to do with my work performance. Which is why, despite being a top performer, I never received a promotion or significant raise.

At the same time, HR frequently asked me to take on extra work, whether that was helping to onboard another disabled employee or leading disability awareness month activities. However, even this drew frustration from some leaders who made it clear they didn’t want to hear anything more about my disability than they already had.

I stayed and did my best. I needed a job, and I already knew how hard it would be to find another one. Despite legal protections against discrimination, many companies discriminate anyway, and that reality makes it significantly harder for someone like me to get hired.

I learned to accept that and do what was necessary to survive. I only left when my father got sick and yet another manager, frustrated by my disability, refused to allow me the time or flexibility to support my family in his final months.

I am confident that if it wasn’t for my disability, I would already be in a senior leadership or VP level role. I attended one of the top high schools in America and I excelled in honors classes. My peers went on to Ivy League schools and I also went on to a good college. When I entered the workforce I expected to achieve sustained and equal success to my school peers, but that is not what happened. While many of my peers are now senior leaders in their respective fields, I have been held back by repeated barriers and career stalls stemming from my disability.

For example, as difficult as it was to tolerate years of discrimination at my last workplace and as frustrating as it was to work for an employer who refused to acknowledge my value or promote me, it was still better than the last two years I’ve spent searching for another job.

I always tell young people entering the workforce to prepare for a tough reality. There is a level of accommodation and support built into the education system that simply does not exist in most workplaces.

The best advice I can give is to roll with the punches and try to remember that many people who cause harm aren’t doing it out of malice. They just don’t know better.

What kept me going was knowing that my work could still have a strong impact, even if the environment wasn’t supportive. I stayed because I needed stability, but I constantly thought that things would improve. I stayed because I knew other disabled employees were watching and going through the same thing and I did not want them to feel alone.

How did this experience shape your thoughts on workplace culture?</h4>

It taught me that workplace culture is only as strong as the people enforcing it. Companies show their true values in how it treats its most vulnerable employees. Even if a company has beautiful values on paper, if managers and HR don’t uphold those values in practice, they might as well not exist.

For me and the accommodation needs I have, real inclusion means managers planning meetings in advance so that an interpreter can be brought in. It also requires HR to take concerns seriously, so leaders don’t behave as if accessibility is optional. It requires consistency and respect.

Real allyship would have been colleagues speaking up when they saw something they knew was wrong, instead of looking the other way and leaving me to fight every battle alone. It would have meant managers who advocated for me, peers who made space for me in conversations and HR maintaining a true open door policy where it was safe to voice concerns.

The stories in this series may have been lightly edited for clarity and format. All personal identifying information, including names, dates, roles and industries have been removed to protect privacy.